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THERE’S THIS THING, SITTING IN OUR LAP, WHICH PROVIDES UNSPEAKABLE BLISS, HOW DARE WE IGNORE IT! WHO ARE THESE STRANGE FREAKS OF NATURE, WHO CHOOSE TO REFUSE ITS CALL, PREFERRING RATHER TO STICK IT IN A HOLE?!
FUCK THAT MADNESS-
BE A MAN AND MASTURBATE!